This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
