"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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