Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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