Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
