There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
