I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
