38 yer olds are good kisserssss
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
