I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize