my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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