She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Randomize
