I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
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