Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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