that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
