I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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