they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
