It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
