Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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