so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I just googled if crying burns calories
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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