yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
