we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
