Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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