Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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