It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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