All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Randomize
