My nipple is on Facebook.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
