Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
