hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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