So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
