arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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