So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
