So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
