So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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