So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
