I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
