I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize