If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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