it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
