everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
did you just send me my own nude
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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