she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
