Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
These tits shall not be calmed
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