I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
