She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
