youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He felt like a one man threesome
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
