never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
