Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
