you guys were way drunker than both of me
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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