We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
