Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
