Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
