You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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