You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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