two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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