The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
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