i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
