I hate your face
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
