Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
