Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize