Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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