its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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