beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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